“Spirit not only blows where it will but upon whom it will.” The Reverend Jennings, PHoD, opened today’s proceedings with a sermon discussing The Calling of St. Matthew by Caravaggio. In the painting, Jesus points with a “luminous outstretched hand” toward one of the men at the table. Though there is debate as to which man is being called, none of the men look particularly thrilled at their being called. Some are distracted. Some are confused. The man at the end of the table stares at his hands, looking almost forlorn. However, the call is the call, as President Jennings remarks that Jesus stands firm.
President Jennings reminds us that, even as Jesus calls us, he is already on the move. We are not simply called to be with Jesus, though that is important; we are called to follow him. The church is never allowed to remain stagnant or self-satisfied. We are caught forever in the exciting, frustrating, uncomfortable, and ultimately divine process of discerning the direction in which God is calling us as individuals and as a church.
What perhaps is not talked about enough is that there is a sense of anxiety and grief in this process. As President Jennings said, the men doing business in the painting derive a sense of purpose from their daily work. Jesus is calling them to abandon that to go on an “adventure of spiritual debt.” I can imagine that the man pointing to himself may not just be thinking,”Is he talking to me?” but maybe also, “Oh please, don’t let it be me.” After all, he’s making a fairly decent wage working for the Roman Empire, and here comes along this man summoning him to put his life and limb in jeopardy for the sake of the Holy Kingdom. It might be easy to say, “Just follow Jesus,” but I imagine that if almost any of us were asked just to leave our livelihoods behind, we would be instantly seized by anxiety, and if we chose to make such a dramatic change, probably some grief too. As humans, we often like to be settled, to have routine, to have order.
However, when we finally get up from the table, we realize possibilities in Christ that far supersede our expectations. After all, at one point in time it may have seemed impossible that marriage equality would have been recognized by the Episcopal Church or that a church formerly run by slave owners would have a committee on racial reconciliation, and yet here we are.
Through the liturgy of morning prayer, we are reminded that we are not alone in this journey. Our common prayer binds us together in faith. Though, the liturgy is not a place for stagnation either but nourishment to feed a dynamic faith. In Eucharistic Prayer D we say, “Deliver us from the presumption of coming to this Table for solace only, and not for strength; for pardon only, and not for renewal.” President Jennings’s sermon serves as a reminder that, though through this convention there may be contentious resolutions, it is only through faith that we can move the church forward into a deeper relationship with Christ and serve out our mission here on earth.
The Episcopal Herald 